Mental Gym

My oh my! I have survived another trip back home! I thought for sure this time would be really hard to leave, but it was a lot easier than I expected. It could possibly be due to the fact that I left with a million plans to start off my life there and a positive, upbeat visit. There were a few spats with the sisters, but...what are sisters for? With July coming faster than ever, I'm bracing myself for the next four months. As much as I want to just pack and leave after June, I'm holding back so I can have a month for hanging out and working my tail off to make ends meet.
Utah couldn't be any prettier at this time, it wasn't ever rainy and the sun loved to shine each and every day. My family time was incredible. I felt more and more like I was at home, only making my dreams into a deeper reality.
I met with Paul Mitchell on Friday to work all the kinks out with my acceptance. I'm not as frightened anymore with my financial situation. Admissions defnitely calmed my nerve on that one and I couldn't be any more grateful for having my dad outside waiting for me. The only thing left to do is to get my butt to Utah, with my loads of cash (hopefully) and get to work on my passion.
Every time we go to Utah as a family we come back a little more tighter than we were when we left. I don't know if it's the crazy 13 hour drive there and back (we've driven it aprox. 60 times) or the endless nights of family dinner. Leaving Utah is always heartbreaking for me, I've never really called California my home because I've never felt like I belong here. It's always like I'm doing things backward when I leave. I should be visiting California...not Utah. I argued relentlessly when we first moved here about 5 years ago and I was probably even more stubborn than an old dog. I guess doing things you don't want to do can help you accept that it's happening. Sticking around for a month in the summer is something I'm dreading to do, but if I don't do it, I'll be moving without a plan, and probably too early.
I've believed that my new chapter (after I dumped my ex) would mean never having to deal with stuff I didn't want to deal with, since I dealt with a relationship I didn't even want to be in, I figured life would be easier. I let go of reality for a couple of weeks and when a problem hit me, I freaked out and ran away from it. Only to have it haunt me a few months later.
I spent money all the time, procastinated with college apps and cared more about going out than staying in with family. Now, I've ended up with less than I planned to have right now and staying in seems harder to do.
On the brightside I've become addicted to challenges...I've decided to bulk up on work and buckle down on school. This may make my social life diminish a little bit, but I have to make a sacrafice somewhere! My spring visit to Utah has opened my eyes to let go of things and do a few things you don't want to do...even if it's painful to do so. I can't expect to get stronger if I don't even ball up and do the hard things in life. My challenges and unwanted tasks are my gym...if I put my mind to it I can build up enough "muscle" and reach my goal by the time July 14th rolls around. Hopefully no personal trainer will be needed :)