My day couldn't have started out any better this morning, I woke up with a good amount of sleep and my kink in my shoulder had disappeared. I got to school just on time, and my English class was an easy way to start out my day, and I had the privilege to walk to class with one of my few close friends, Keely. I don't think she knows it but I really appreciated just having her there not worrying about anything that has happened these past few weeks. Sadly, god makes perfect moments and unfortunate turn around as a test to see if we can roll with the punches and turn around a bad day.
It all turned bad when my boyfriend sent me a reply text in fourth period (curse those cell phones), just spitting out these horrible things at me throughout all period, of course I reacted with anger and "yelled" back but I never expected what my mind came to conclusion. I decided to give up trying and putting in my all when I get anger in return, or even 30% effort back. I wished I was being biased right now. Anyways, after telling him if ending things is what he truly wants and that's how he'll be happy I can only support him, as a last try to let him know I can't end it. He said in reply it's best if we break up. After almost 11 months of dating each other and almost 9 months of being official, you can imagine how much this can crush a girl. I tried to be strong and tough out my next block period and the next 15 minutes of lunch in my mom's office, but this heartbreak wouldn't allow me. I told my mom and as I told her my body only convulsed with gasps of air and my eyes flooded with tears, knowing this was the end and I can't do anything else to keep it going. While I was breaking down on my arms on my mom's desk, I realized, I'm always keeping him here, I AM holding him back...you know all the "woe is me" "pity me" stuff a girl goes through during a break up. This only made me cry more, the bell rang for sixth period and I was trying to think if I could make it to my American Sign Language class without breaking down...or if I could go to ACS and breakdown up there. I decided I only needed my little sister Grace to hug me because when you go through heartbreak you have to have family surround you with their undying love to fill the hole in your heart where love once lied. I walked up the stairs with my mom trying not to cry again, but being comforted that I wasn't going up there alone. I got to the room as everyone looked at me, they thought it was a joke..coming in late, but Gracie's face changed the minute she saw me stone-faced and tear stained, I had to tell my teacher why I needed to take Grace and be alone with her. I sucked in my breath and told her, she told me take all the time I need, I know what a relief. The minute Grace touched me I broke down and I'm sure the class heard me, but what can you do when you go through something like this? Grace and I sat outside beneath a tree as she was holding me and I was bawling not being able to breathe or talk, she and my mom(who had to get back to work) were rubbing my back telling me nothing but "shhhhhh" I could feel Grace occasionally embrace me harder, just like he did, so I could only break down more. She wanted to know what happened so all I could do was try to catch my breath. I told her what happened and she became nothing but mad at him, mad that he hurt me and mad that he would do this over text. Long story short, I made it through class with the help of my amazing ASL 3 peeps. I'm sure they didn't know what went on but I don't care, not talking about it and not having to think about nothing but ASL and Zoe's and Stephanie's hilarious stories that sincerely made me laugh, even though laughing made me want to cry so I had to limit my giggles, not only did my peeps help me Tess had given me a hug while I was breaking down walking outside, and comforting me, probably thinking it was something with what has been happening lately.
My seventh period prep: I saw Selena on the quad, I couldn't be anymore grateful for a girl who can understand anything and everything, and Tess (this was during the end of sixth) who told me nothing but the comforting truth. I don't know what my day would have been like if I hadn't run into Tess on my way downstairs. I'm so grateful God sent me these guardian angels to comfort me through my darkest days, and laugh with on my brightest. I feel bad that we've all lost touch, but I don't think after today it will be the same.
My life lesson for the day:
When life gets you down, breakdown around family and a dear friend. There is nothing better than an endearing, embracing hug from the people you adore and love. Thank you all so much for today, I couldn't have made it without ANY of you. Even if you weren't mentioned, you still made my day brighter than it was as of 12:20 today. You're angels. :)
It all turned bad when my boyfriend sent me a reply text in fourth period (curse those cell phones), just spitting out these horrible things at me throughout all period, of course I reacted with anger and "yelled" back but I never expected what my mind came to conclusion. I decided to give up trying and putting in my all when I get anger in return, or even 30% effort back. I wished I was being biased right now. Anyways, after telling him if ending things is what he truly wants and that's how he'll be happy I can only support him, as a last try to let him know I can't end it. He said in reply it's best if we break up. After almost 11 months of dating each other and almost 9 months of being official, you can imagine how much this can crush a girl. I tried to be strong and tough out my next block period and the next 15 minutes of lunch in my mom's office, but this heartbreak wouldn't allow me. I told my mom and as I told her my body only convulsed with gasps of air and my eyes flooded with tears, knowing this was the end and I can't do anything else to keep it going. While I was breaking down on my arms on my mom's desk, I realized, I'm always keeping him here, I AM holding him back...you know all the "woe is me" "pity me" stuff a girl goes through during a break up. This only made me cry more, the bell rang for sixth period and I was trying to think if I could make it to my American Sign Language class without breaking down...or if I could go to ACS and breakdown up there. I decided I only needed my little sister Grace to hug me because when you go through heartbreak you have to have family surround you with their undying love to fill the hole in your heart where love once lied. I walked up the stairs with my mom trying not to cry again, but being comforted that I wasn't going up there alone. I got to the room as everyone looked at me, they thought it was a joke..coming in late, but Gracie's face changed the minute she saw me stone-faced and tear stained, I had to tell my teacher why I needed to take Grace and be alone with her. I sucked in my breath and told her, she told me take all the time I need, I know what a relief. The minute Grace touched me I broke down and I'm sure the class heard me, but what can you do when you go through something like this? Grace and I sat outside beneath a tree as she was holding me and I was bawling not being able to breathe or talk, she and my mom(who had to get back to work) were rubbing my back telling me nothing but "shhhhhh" I could feel Grace occasionally embrace me harder, just like he did, so I could only break down more. She wanted to know what happened so all I could do was try to catch my breath. I told her what happened and she became nothing but mad at him, mad that he hurt me and mad that he would do this over text. Long story short, I made it through class with the help of my amazing ASL 3 peeps. I'm sure they didn't know what went on but I don't care, not talking about it and not having to think about nothing but ASL and Zoe's and Stephanie's hilarious stories that sincerely made me laugh, even though laughing made me want to cry so I had to limit my giggles, not only did my peeps help me Tess had given me a hug while I was breaking down walking outside, and comforting me, probably thinking it was something with what has been happening lately.
My seventh period prep: I saw Selena on the quad, I couldn't be anymore grateful for a girl who can understand anything and everything, and Tess (this was during the end of sixth) who told me nothing but the comforting truth. I don't know what my day would have been like if I hadn't run into Tess on my way downstairs. I'm so grateful God sent me these guardian angels to comfort me through my darkest days, and laugh with on my brightest. I feel bad that we've all lost touch, but I don't think after today it will be the same.
My life lesson for the day:
When life gets you down, breakdown around family and a dear friend. There is nothing better than an endearing, embracing hug from the people you adore and love. Thank you all so much for today, I couldn't have made it without ANY of you. Even if you weren't mentioned, you still made my day brighter than it was as of 12:20 today. You're angels. :)
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